I’ve been posting on marriage killers for the last few weeks and they aren't pretty. So what do we do? How do we get our heart right so that our communication is pure and produces intimacy?

My first suggestion is to let Jesus heal your emotional wounds, your triggers. Marriage therapy research has shown that a large percentage of our triggers in marriage are from childhood wounds. Some therapists even put a number to this percentage – 90. So 90% of the issues that sent me off the deep end (and sometimes still continue to do so) with my spouse are the result of my painful childhood experiences. So imagine with me that I have a deep bloody cut here on my shoulder and my sweet hubby and I are standing listening to a .........