Blog | Marriage Hints and Tips

Make the Covid-19 Pandemic a Defining Time in Your Marriage - Part 2

April 16, 2020 @ 10:00 AM

Following up on my dear friend, Stephanie Weiss’ blog last week on marriage in the pandemic, here are some practical suggestions to make it through this social distancing and sheltering in place era and come out stronger.

Focus on the positives in your partner and affirm them daily

This practice can reap huge benefits because what we focus on, grows bigger. So if we are focusing on our mate’s positive qualities, they’ll be more attractive to us, and as we affirm them, they’ll respond by doing more positive actions. This is a win/win situation as it also models for our partner how to view and treat us in return.

Move towards your mate with loving actions

It’s easy to take our ......

Make the Covid-19 Pandemic a Defining Time in Your Marriage - Part 1

April 14, 2020 @ 10:00 AM

Stephanie Weiss, a dear friend of mine wrote this beautiful piece on marriage in the pandemic and I’d love to share it with you.

The headline read “Divorce rate spikes across China after couples spend too much time together during coronavirus home quarantine,” claim Chinese officials.

Ron, a neighbor of mine, walked by our driveway this morning walking his dog. I shouted “how are you and Lisa? “We’re not divorced yet,” was his response.

I believe he was joking, because he went on to share the article he read about the current high rates of divorce in China. There is a part of me who knows that social isolation can either pull people together or tear them apart, especially in a marriage situation.

And yet think back to the time you were dating and knew he or she was the one. The one you wanted to marry and be connected to for life. The one you couldn’t wait to see, hanging on their every word, sharing physical closeness of hugs, handholding and beyond. Then sharing your marriage vows that may have included the words “’til death do us part.” Or in modern day terms “we are in this thing together baby, now and forever.”

Having been married for 47 years, I believe it’s time to invest in renewing our marriages especially while sheltering in place.

Previous to sheltering in place, do you know how much time the average couple spends together each day?

Take a guess, 4 minutes, 12 minutes, 27 minutes, 1 hour and 8 minutes?

If you guessed 4 minutes per day, you are right.

It has often been said that “familiarity breeds discontent.” But that’s not true. I believe relationships must be fed and nurtured and demand time. Guess what, now you have the time.

Observation, it seems as if business has become a national pastime, especially for those of us with kids. If we're not stuck in twelve hour work days, on the highway, or shuttling children to a multitude of activities, we're engulfed in chores, errands, homework, or... you fill in the gaps. Sometimes we don't even know where there time goes. All we know is that we're at the end of the day and frazzled with no time left to even sit for five minutes with our partner. We settle into a routine where we live like roommates or "like two ships passing in the night."

Now you have time.

The pattern does not have to continue! We can be deliberate about building strong marriages that last the test of time, that are intimate, fun-filled, with great communication and deep friendship. And this starts with being intentional about making time for each other.

What to do in this Covid-19 Pandemic: A Christ-Centered Perspective

April 12, 2020 @ 10:00 AM

I’ve been wanting to write this blog for the past few weeks. And you would’ve thought that with more time on my hands due to the shelter in-place order, I’d be typing non-stop. Nope. Writer’s block? “What do I say?” I wondered. How do I encourage others in a way that doesn’t sound super-spiritual or trite?

So I woke up this Easter morning and asked God for help. Go figure. Why hadn’t I done that before? And then I felt His Presence confirm that today was the day to put fingers to the keyboard.

The day began in darkness and rain and I thought, “What a solemn Easter.” But as the morning progressed, the clouds quickly moved and revealed the brightest blue sky. I could feel my .........