As I've mentioned numberous times before, on a daily basis I see couples in my office who come for marital therapy. And usually when it’s their turn to speak (and even when it’s not), each partner recites a very long list of the other’s flaws. In the early days of my practice, I sat in too many sessions where these laundry lists took up the entire session, as each spouse wanted to be sure I was informed about every microscopic offense that the other had committed. I soon realized that listening to endless hours of bashing from both sides was highly unproductive, and changed to more effective counseling methods. I also began to discover that each mate was looking to the other to meet their deepest needs. And ............