As I've mentioned numberous times before, on a daily basis I see couples in my office who come for marital therapy. And usually when it’s their turn to speak (and even when it’s not), each partner recites a very long list of the other’s flaws. In the early days of my practice, I sat in too many sessions where these laundry lists took up the entire session, as each spouse wanted to be sure I was informed about every microscopic offense that the other had committed. I soon realized that listening to endless hours of bashing from both sides was highly unproductive, and changed to more effective counseling methods. I also began to discover that each mate was looking to the other to meet their deepest needs. And often because most people come from childhoods with some dysfunction, sometimes a lot of dysfunction, there are some deep-seated, gaping wounds that their partner is not remotely designed to heal, especially when they have their own craters to deal with. Right in-front of me I could see that each spouse had become an idol to the other.
I remember when I told one of my clients that it appeared as if her husband was her idol, she looked at me as if I’d lost my mind. How could her husband be her idol, especially when he was doing such a lousy job? I explained to her that she was looking to him to meet her needs and all she could see was that he was not, and she was becoming more miserable by the day. He was her primary focus. He became her idol.
All husbands make lousy idols and so do all wives. They weren't designed for this. There can only be one God and He is jealous. Very jealous. He will have no rivals. And He will allow our spouses not to meet our needs until we realize that they weren't meant to meet all our needs. He is the only one we should worship and look to for everything.
Are you worshiping your spouse today?
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