I see many couples in my office. Most come in blaming each other for their unhappiness and for the marital problems. Suzie says that if John was not so lazy then she wouldn't be so angry and depressed all the time. Tony says that if Marsha had not nagged him so much, he would not have had the affair with Gwen. And on and on it goes. I understand this more that they know because I was exactly like them. To be honest, on my down days, if I’m not talking to God and focusing my thoughts on Him, I can slip right back there. Trust me, it’s not pretty. Ask my husband!
One of the God inspired actions that I take with my couples is having separate sessions with each spouse for 1-3 sessions, where I emphasize the importance of acknowledging their faults in the relationship and taking responsibility for them. I call these sessions, "Taking Responsiblity for Your Side of the Street." Until this happens, there can be no healing in the marriage. You can’t heal what you don’t admit. And this goes for those who aren’t married too. The Bible is right when it says that God gives healing to the humble. Until I learned to yank out the massive, monster-sized board out of my eye before trying to pick the microscopic splinter out of my honey’s, I spun around daily on the vicious cycle of unrealistic expectations, blame and resentment. Not a happy place to be.
What boards can you take out of your eye today? I'm about to check mine again right now!
