The average married couple has sex 58 times per year, or slightly more than once a week.
This leads me to my next blog topic...
How to Have More Sex
As you can imagine this is a hot topic! And I do not profess to be an expert. There is actually a counseling specialty for this. It is called Sex Therapy. However, in my years of working as a marriage counselor and being married myself, I do know a thing or two! My plan is not to provide a long dissertation on the subject but just to give a few quick tips. Here goes –
1. Talk about your sex needs
It is important for each partner to be aware of and meet the sexual needs of the other. Talking about these needs helps build communication and intimacy, and clears up any misunderstanding either spouse may have about their partner's sexual preferences.
2. Put sex on the calendar
As stated in my previous blog, couples need to be more intentional about their relationship. By scheduling time for physical intimacy, this increases the chances that it will happen.
3. Bump up the physical and verbal affection
Snuggle, hug and kiss more. Give each other massages and foot rubs, just because. Whisper sweet romantic “nothings” in your partner’s ear. Turn these loving actions into habits and see how much more “in the mood” you may both become.
4. Find out and learn to speak your spouse’s love language
Author and marriage expert, Gary Chapman suggests that there are five love languages - Words of Affirmation, Quality Time, Gifts, Acts of Service and Physical Touch. When you discover and practice showing love in the way your partner receives and experiences love, they may be more inclined to feel amorous when you are ready for a sexual rendezvous.
5. Eliminate criticism, blame and verbal attacks
Nothing kills the desire for intimacy like angry, negative words and actions. Keep these “bad boys” out of your marriage and you will find that your passion for each other may increase.
6. Exercise and stay in shape
It is said that exercise causes the release of hormones that can increase feelings of wellbeing. Exercise can also help you stay in shape and look better. Studies have shown that vigorous exercise can lead to enhanced sexual arousal for women, and according to the Mayo Clinic, men who exercise regularly are less likely to have issues with erectile dysfunction. Who would not want these benefits?
7. Consult a physician or psychotherapist if necessary
If you suspect that you or your partner may have a physical or mental/emotional problem that is affecting your sex life, consult a professional. Do not waste time getting to the root of the matter. You owe it to your relationship.
My final tip is to shut off the computer and try out one of these suggestions!
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